Apr 24, 2017

5 Very Science Fiction-y Things About Pregnancy

You might have noticed the blog's been a bit quieter than usual lately. There's a reason for that: I'm busy with the next generation. Being pregnant is supremely weird, especially when it's your first time. Sometimes I feel like I woke up in a science fiction (or horror) movie, so here's a list of weird stuff about pregnancy. I'm only about halfway through, so any veteran mommies out there, feel free to add to the list in the comments.

So, here's my list:

1. Cool new superpowers, like a heightened sense of smell and taste. At about six weeks or so I developed Witcher senses. Just like Geralt's, except I doubt he has to step into the bushes to throw up every time he smells coffee. Or maybe Sapkowski just left that part out. As a bonus, most healthy foods start to taste like poison. Well, I guess it's good to expand your palate. (This, thankfully, went away in the second trimester. I doubt you can grow a baby on ice-cream and folic acid supplements alone.)

2. Playing host to a strange little alien that moves around in your tummy. It's weird. The first kicks leave you feeling both elated and supremely creeped out at the same time. And that first ultrasound; It's like something out of Alien.

3. The vivid dreams. Virtual reality has nothing on these. Even though I've mostly been too sick to write, I've got enough material to last me a couple of years.

4. The hormones make you act very strangely, from getting overly emotional over pictures of kittens to eating peculiar things like sun-dried tomatoes with soygurt. (Yummy!) Suddenly your body has a mind of its own and you're no longer in control. I also turned into a morning person overnight. Seriously, I never thought I'd be getting up at 6 a.m. voluntarily. Very Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

5. The rampant paranoia. Your house is suddenly a deathtrap, and you worry about the baby getting eaten by squirrels while sleeping in the stroller and similar totally rational and likely scenarios.

P.S. Don't let these freak you out if you're planning on having kids. There's good stuff too. Mass Effect onesies and Death Star pregnancy shirts, for example.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Hello, stranger. What's on your mind?